Document Type : Research/Original/Regular

Authors

• Mahmoud Khazaei ¹
• Shahriyar Shahidi ¹
• Fereshteh Mootabi ²
• Mohammad Ali Mazaheri ¹
• Leyli Panaghi ³

¹ Department of Clinical and Health Psychology, Faculty of Education and Psychology, Shahid Beheshti University, Tehran, Iran

² Department of Basic Research, Family Research Institute, Shahid Beheshti University, Tehran, Iran

³ Department of Family Health, Family Research Institute, Shahid Beheshti University, Tehran, Iran

Abstract

The majority of experts agree on what forgiveness is not. Nonetheless, there are numerous diverse definitions of forgiveness. This research consisted of two studies: 1) a qualitative analysis of forgiveness of marital infidelity from the perspective of lived experience persons who have been betrayed, and 2) a qualitative investigation of the infidelity from the perspective of couples therapy experts. In both studies, the current research approach was thematic analysis from the category of qualitative research methods. Six major themes, including the definition of forgiveness, were identified in the first study: "passing on," "letting go," "not seeking revenge," "emotional healing," "personal explanation of forgiveness," and "desire to forgive." In the second study, the meaning of forgiveness was examined from the perspective of specialists based on their theoretical and clinical expertise, as well as their individual views and attitudes as experts. This study identified three major themes entitled emotional healing, cognitive revision of emotion, and the decision to forgive. In summarizing the two research presented in this article, it should be noted that the themes collected from both investigations can be categorized differently.

Highlights

Background and Purpose

The majority of experts agree on what forgiveness is not. Nonetheless, there are numerous diverse definitions of forgiveness. Specialists in infidelity treatment proposed philosophical definitions of forgiveness, but the present researchers' literature review indicates that the definition of forgiveness has not been studied within the research framework. In a study conducted by Rafiei and colleagues (2016) on "personal constructions of the of betrayed spouses' understanding of their spouse's forgiveness," forgiveness was identified as the theory's core phenomena. In the core category, forgiveness is described as a rational and purposeful human, spiritual, and societal representation for perpetuating shared life. In their research, Mursali and colleagues defined forgiveness as a score on Enright Forgiveness Inventory. However, they did not specify the concept of forgiveness. In the meantime, forgiveness as a philosophical idea to be applied to the domain of infidelity demands a thorough definition and understanding of the injured party and the professionals who facilitate it. When treating infidelity, the therapist should bring up the notion of forgiveness at the appropriate moment (Snyder et al. , 2004).

Received: 27 June 2022                                                                                Accepted: 12 August 2022

 Additionally, forgiveness should be defined properly when mentioned. The distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness should be highlighted, and clients should be informed of the situations that do not include forgiveness. Hence, the definition of forgiveness becomes significant in the sense that this philosophical notion must first be defined in a specific manner in the minds of the therapist and the injured individual, and then attempts should be made to accomplish it. Apostolo and colleagues (2019) examined the forgiveness of marital infidelity in an article titled response and forgiveness of Reactions to and Forgiveness of Infidelity: Exploring Severity, Length of Relationship, Sex, and Previous Experience Effects. None of these studies, however, have presented a precise and explicit definition of forgiveness; rather, they have concentrated on the process that leads to the forgiveness of infidelity, the factors that influence forgiveness, and the consequences that forgiveness of infidelity can have.

Method

This research consisted of two studies: 1) a qualitative analysis of forgiveness of marital infidelity from the perspective of lived experience persons who have been betrayed, and 2) a qualitative investigation of the infidelity from the perspective of couples therapy experts. In both studies, the current research approach was thematic analysis from the category of qualitative research methods. In qualitative research, we seek to comprehend the unknown aspects of the investigated phenomenon, whereas quantitative research examines the measurable, observable aspects of the studied phenomenon (Braiman, 2007). In the first study, 16 participants, consisting of 11 women and 5 men, who had experienced disclosure of their spouse's infidelity in a marriage participated in this research utilizing purposeful sampling. In the second study, eight professional couple therapists with expertise in treating marital infidelity participated in this research using convenience sampling. In the first study, sixteen individuals with personal experiences of infidelity were interviewed via theme analysis. Before doing each interview, participants were given an informed consent form and Ray and colleagues (2001) forgiveness questionnaire. The aim of Ray and colleagues' (2001) questionnaire was to evaluate the extent of forgiveness for infidelity objectively. Obviously, this evaluation was insufficient; therefore, during the interview, the level of forgiveness was assessed using three qualitative categories: unforgiven, in the process of forgiving, and forgiven. To validate the qualitative findings, two qualitative research experts on forgiveness and betrayal were invited to independently code two interviews, which were compared to the researcher's coding. In addition, the coding performed by other researchers was evaluated and modified. The last criterion for ending the sampling was data saturation, which was determined by the absence of additional code extraction in the last three interviews.

 The second study evaluated the data acquired from eight convenient interviews with professionals in couple therapy. The thematic analysis method developed by Brown and Clark (2006) was utilized for data analysis in the first and second research. This textual data analysis technique turns dispersed and heterogeneous data into rich, detailed data (Bruan & Clark, 2006).

Results

Six major themes, including the definition of forgiveness, were identified in the first study: "passing on," "letting go," "not seeking revenge," "emotional healing," "personal explanation of forgiveness," and "desire to forgive. " This analysis extracts three subthemes from the main theme of passing on: not rubbing it in the wrongdoer's face, not bringing it up, and accepting remorse. Three subthemes were extracted from the main theme of letting go: freedom from reasoning, freedom from doubt, and freedom from rehearsing. For the main theme of not seeking revenge, two subthemes of benevolence and not wishing ill were extracted, and for the main theme of emotional healing, two subthemes of reducing pain and suffering and reducing anger were extracted. Four sub-themes, including relative views on trust, self-awareness, and responsibility, the usefulness of forgiveness, and acceptance of infidelity, were extracted for the main theme of explaining forgiveness, and two sub-themes, cognitive preoccupation and unforgettable, were extracted for the main theme of the desire to forgive. In the second study, the meaning of forgiveness was examined from the perspective of specialists based on their theoretical and clinical expertise, as well as their individual views and attitudes as experts. This study identified three major themes entitled emotional healing, cognitive revision of emotion, and the decision to forgive.

Discussion and Conclusion

In summarizing the two research presented in this article, it should be noted that the themes collected from both investigations can be categorized differently. It is essential to note, however, that the specialists in the field of couple therapy who gave their expert opinion were actually sharing their subjective experience of facilitating forgiveness in the treatment of individuals impacted by infidelity. This was especially influenced by the knowledge and learning of these specialists, and it was very close to understanding the themes extracted from the lived experience of people affected by betrayal, although it was distinct from the lived experience of their clients due to the scientific literature they had access to. Notably, professionals do not generally discuss their experience with forgiving infidelity. For this reason, specialists and victims of infidelity strive for forgiveness in light of each individual's explanation and understanding of confronting a severe and painful injury.

Ethical Considerations

Compliance with ethical guidelines: This study was conducted under the ethical standards for human research; In order to comply with the ethical standards for this qualitative research, participants were given an informed consent form at the beginning of the interview process. In addition, they were informed of the full identity of the interviewer, the university where they were placed, the objective of the study, and the persons who have access to the interview transcription (including supervisors and advisors). They were given the opportunity to ask any questions. Participants were also allowed to withdraw from the study at any time. A number was assigned for each individual's anonymity, and different persons were utilized as references so as not to present a specific image. This article is derived from the dissertation "Forgiveness of marital infidelity; presenting a conceptual model. "

Funding: No organization or institution provided financial support for the current research.

Authors' Contributions In the current research, which is part of a doctoral dissertation, Mahmoud Khazaei's was the main author. Contributing to the study process were Dr. Shahriar Shahidi as the first supervisor, Dr. Fershte Mutabi as the second supervisor, Dr. Mohammad Ali Mazaheri as the first consultant, and Mrs. Lili Panaghi as the second consultant. In addition, their guidance was employed while composing the article, which was written under their supervision.

Conflict of Interest: The authors did not receive any financial benefit from its publication or writing, nor did they receive financial assistance from any institution or organization.

Acknowledgments: I am grateful to the research participants, who included persons who had experienced marital infidelity and shared their hardships with the researcher, as well as the specialists who contributed their time and expertise to enhance this research and the science of forgiving infidelity.

Keywords

• Keywords: Forgiveness
• Marital infidelity
• Defining Forgiveness

20.1001.1.23452692.1402.11.3.1.1

Main Subjects

• marital adjustment