Document Type : Research/Original/Regular

Authors

• Zohreh Khosravi
• Leila Cheraghmollaei
• Moloud Soleimani

Psychology,Education and psychology department, Alzahra University, Tehran.Iran

Abstract

This study aimed to investigate parenting values, good parenting, and the ideal child from the perspective of Iranian parents and children. The method used in this qualitative research is phenomenology study. The study population included all parents and children living in Tehran from the period 1399 to 1400. The sample consisted of 23 parents and children who were studied by semi-structured interview. The data obtained from the interviews were analyzed. The result of coding was 385 primary codes, 65 concepts, 17 categories, and 3 general categories.
A good parent class includes 5 main categories including moral and human qualities; Providing material and spiritual needs; Having appropriate communication skills; being Informed and resourceful; Being powerful and decisive.
The ideal child class includes 6 main categories including moral and human qualities, commitment and responsibility, independence and endurance, activity and self-respecting, adaptation and satisfaction, and health. The resource category of parental origins includes 6 main categories including lived experience, culture, and society, media, religion, education, parents. Finally, based on the result of the study, the model of parenting values is designed and presented. The results of this study showed that the values of parenting and being a good parent from the point of view of children indicates that a good parent has appropriate moral and personality traits, meets the material and spiritual needs of the family, has appropriate communication skills, is knowledgeable and resourceful and  is strong and decisive.

Highlights

Background and Purpose

 One of the important factors in developing a child's personality and the mental health of parents is parenting beliefs. This kind of beliefs include parents' knowledge about parenting, values, including parents' goals and expectations for child development and their role as good parents in this process (Cheah & Chirkov, 2008; Luster & Okagaki, 2005; Rosenthal & Roer-Strier, 2006). Several factors, such as age, ethnicity, and daily experiences (Scott & Hill, 2003), can cause the formation of these beliefs or influence them, but the most important factors are culture and ethnicity (Cote & Bornstein, 2000).

Various models examine the role of culture in these beliefs. For example, the parent-child context perspective (Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998) divides the main contexts of a child's life into three levels: microsystem, mesosystem, and exosystem, and various researchers have investigated the role of each of them in parenting. By dividing societies into individualistic and collectivist ones, various researchers have examined the role of each in parenting beliefs and methods (Greenfield & Cocking, 1994; Yaman et al., 2010).

One of the most comprehensive models is the dynamic model of systemic beliefs (McGillicuddy-De & Sigel, 2002), which examines five levels of parenting beliefs, considering the source of these beliefs. These five levels are: a) general view of parenting, b) more specific aspects of parents' beliefs such as interpersonal skills, c) moral development, d) cognitive development, e) and the application of these aspects, including direct orders to the child, giving suggestions to the child, questioning and answering the child and managing the child's behavior and how to apply rewards and punishments. Various researchers have investigated the differences of these levels in different cultures.

In addition to the effects that parenting beliefs have on the way children are treated, they can impose much psychological pressure on parents because many parents experience less life satisfaction and more depressive symptoms than couples who do not have children due to the pressure of the beliefs that they are good mothers/fathers (Evenson & Simon, 2005; Umberson et al., 2010).

In addition to parents' beliefs about good parents, children's beliefs about good parents can also play an important role in positive parent-child relationships. There is much evidence that parent-child communication is associated with better mental health, better academic performance, and reduced internalizing and externalizing problems (Wiggins et al., 2009; Molyadi et al., 2016). Good communication with parents is also investigated but there is little research on children's views of a good parent.

Therefore, in this research, due to the importance of the role of parenting beliefs in parents and the lack of consistent research on children's beliefs about parenting, it is attempted to measure children's beliefs in this context in addition to examining the role of parenting beliefs and value systems in Iranian culture. In this regard, the basic research questions are: 1) What are the characteristics of an ideal parent from the point of view of children and an ideal child from the point of view of parents? 2) what are the sources of parental values and beliefs?

Method

The method used in this research is phenomenology. The study population included all parents and children living in Tehran from 1399 to 1400. The sample consisted of 23 parents and children studied by semi-structured interview. The data obtained from the interviews were coded and analyzed.

Findings

The result of coding was 385 primary codes, 65 concepts, 17 categories, and 3 general categories.  A good parent class includes 5 main categories including moral and human qualities (sacrifice and self-sacrifice, intimacy and compassion, kindness, trust and honesty, and justice); Providing material and spiritual needs (providing psychological and emotional security, meeting the material needs of the family, unconditional acceptance and love, availability, support); Have appropriate communication skills (communication skills within the family, communication skills with others); Informed and resourceful (guide and leader, active and up-to-date, flexible, manager and resourceful, teacher, knowledgeable); Is powerful and decisive (having authority, resilient and strong, appropriate encouragement and punishment, unruly behavior).

The ideal child class includes 6 main categories including moral and human qualities (humanity, respect, and politeness, kindness and love, empathy and understanding, modesty and modesty), commitment and responsible (commitment and commitment, responsibility, helper, commitment To principles and norms), independence and endurance (independent and self-reliant, endurance), active and self-respecting (active, hardworking, high self-esteem), adaptation and satisfaction (adaptation, appreciation, and understanding, self-satisfaction, self-satisfaction Parents, others' satisfaction with him), health (physical health, mental health, abstinence from smoking and drugs, healthy sex).

Resource category of parent values includes 6 main categories including lived experience (self-experience, experience of others, childhood), culture and society (cultural issues, economic issues, political issues, social norms, ethnicity), media (social networks, movies, And serials, other media), religion (religious beliefs, values, religious beliefs), education (school and university, books and study, workshops and extracurricular classes), parents (parents 'advice, parents' beliefs, rules, And parental values).

Discussion and Conclusion

The results of this study showed that the values of parenting and being a good parent from the point of view of children indicates that a good parent has appropriate moral and personality traits, meets the material and spiritual needs of the family, has appropriate communication skills, is knowledgeable and resourceful and  is strong and decisive.

The next part of the research was devoted to the concept of the ideal child in Iranian culture. The results of the research showed that the ideal child, according to Iranian parents, is a child with appropriate moral and human qualities, such as humanity, respect and politeness, kindness and affection, empathy and understanding, veiling and modesty. The child should also be wealthy, committed and responsible, independent and persevering, active and self-respecting, adaptable and satisfied, and cares about the physical, mental and behavioral health.

The next part of the research was dedicated to the investigation of the sources of parenting knowledge. The results indicated that the parenting values of parents are derived from their lived experience and their parents' lived experience, as well as being influenced by society's culture, media, religion, and education they have received in this field.

In general, in the formation of the concept of ideal parents, ideal child, and parenting values, the strong role of society's culture is noticeable, and it should be noted that this culture need not  necessarily be ancient; rather it can be affected by the medium-term social and economic conditions of the society. Therefore, it seems that redefining these social concepts is necessary, and cultivation according to the social conditions of the society can play a significant role in reducing the mental and emotional problems of families and the growth of parents and  Iranian children. In other words, according to the results of the research and the importance of the role of education and media in the formation of parenting values, it is suggested to produce valuable educational and media content and in this way shape parenting values as well as social values.

In general, the role of society's culture is prominent in the formation of the concept of ideal parents, ideal children and parenting values.  It should be noted that this culture is not rooted and ancient and can be affected by the medium-term social and economic conditions of the society.Therefore, it seems necessary to redefine these social concepts.Proper culture building according to the social conditions of the society can be effective in reducing the psychological and emotional problems of families. It should also play a significant role in the development of parents and children in society.

Keywords

• parenting values
• good parent
• ideal child
• sources of parental origins
• Iran

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Main Subjects

• parenting